I would say…try not too much to make sense of whatever is happening in the periphery of the circle…as that is really too complex, chaotic and mysterious and whirling at the speed of light, too fast for the mind to grasp..even though there is some very important stuff unfolding in the periphery, but that is really none of your business. Instead stay in your own center and keep going back there and operate from there..It is easier and more peaceful to live that way. And you do end up making some pretty useful contribution to life and humanity. 🙂 Like the SUN.
Love for me is holding guard with a sheet when I need to pee during picnics in semi-rural wilderness or watching out for bystanders, when I change my clothes after a swim. Driving one way and then letting the other drive the way back. I am sorry if that sounds crass and unromantic, but love for me is in the sharing of mundane, dirty, routine, boring, cyclical, burdensome chores and situations of life with another. After we have done all this, it feels awesome to sit with drinks, with feet up, some nice music on, and look at the night sky together and rejoice in the silence, small talk, naturally reaching out and touching the other, with no particular agenda. Or just sleep with warm bodies cuddled up next to each other. Or sharing space, doing our creative stuff. When all this is present, I feel sexy enough to make love. I am sorry but I live in the real world, where lovers fart and have nose bleeds, and women have body odor and find no time to shave and kids poop and pee, and don’t want to sleep in the night:) How unromantic does that sound?;)
I wanted to share my experiences here as a single parent. I feel balance is always there for the children in both parents playing some role that the other is unable to play, and when one parent is missing due to death/separation/or choice/or other calamities of life, some other energies make up for that balance…isn’t it?
I look closely at my life with my children and see the ‘involved and present dad’ energy has been taken care of by many of my friends..if not in male Dad form always…but in female form also…or by other older kids…sometimes in the form of visiting males in our lives..including my ex-spouse or my sister or my mother or my best friends male and female. I am trusting life a little bit more each day and moment and breathing a sigh of relief..I feel it is the energy that the kids need..it can come in any form. If not constant. But spread out.
Popular thoughts, dictates, reasons, moralities, notions, norms, conventions, conditions have a resounding voice, have a tight hold and grip over the individual’s psyche. These are all heavy weights sitting on a person’s heart, not allowing it to breathe easy. Listening to them is seemingly easy way to live. But the price for that is degradation of the soul, of humanity. Giving undue importance to these is the murder of one’s own heart ruthlessly and letting it bleed venom. It creates loneliness as one is forcing oneself to be among those who have no clue as to what makes the heart soft, tender and supple. Going with the majority makes one liked and very safe materially, but at the cost of self-hatred and insecurity born of lack of self knowledge needed to walk through life and its inherent suffering. And that is the anger one inflicts on others. Living according to these is death of LOVE, COMPASSION and CREATIVITY…The three key ingredients to a non-violent and peaceful existence.
The storm and the eye of the storm
Is enclosed in the frail body
That I wish to fortify
The container cannot leak
The love that I behold
But it does so I fill
When the heart is
What flows is buttery-ly
Get your toasts
And taste it sweet
Krishna loved it so!