I stand at a juncture where…I can say the only excuse is “I did not take 100% responsibility for my way of being, I was not being honest, I was not self aware…and was self critical and hence critical of the other”

Having done all this…and having blamed,, been angry and then left with no one to blame or be angry with anymore…I also want to say that all this is the process…I am today humbled…

I no longer feel the need to oppose or defend or promote…just see with understanding that each is in the exact place that each is meant to be …and radical, conventional, unschooling, homeschooling, schooling, going green, staying in cities…eating raw food, eating meat…and all of it..and all that is yet to come…. what to do but embrace with love and compassion…

The other day a friend was  asked by someone “What do you do?” So he was a bit perplexed and said…”I don’t know what I do but something is being done through me”..

I was wondering if the question could be framed to say…”Who are you?” Like in in the film Kung Fu Panda…Who am I? Am I unschooler, am I a mom, am I someone’s spouse/ex-spouse, daughter, sister, am I  single, married, divorced, am I brave, courageous, coward…lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender….green guy, eco friendly….what is the right answer????

I just say..I am still figuring out or as soon as I know I will let you know…

Looking at the world and the beautiful people in it with new eyes….even those I “thought” I was angry with or those who I “thought” had been unkind or unjust to me….even myself…we are all so hard on ourselves and therefore on “the other”….

To honour ourselves as we are..is the toughest thing to do..I have learnt that no matter what the consequences. Speaking the truth is of paramount importance. And facing my own truth and owning it and then placing it in front of the other has been my challenge. And I realize the challenge stems from the deepest fear of rejection of my being…

All stories told till now no longer hold any meaning….and yet so meaningful!!!

Love

Dola

 

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