The Real begins when the Film ends!
My whole life has been a series of intense attractions to the masculine, some desirable and some not so desirable. Some have been family, some have been lovers, some have been fellow workers at work, some bosses, some teachers, some strangers. And I do not mean attraction as in sexual or romantic attraction only, but also intellectual, familial, spiritual and emotional.
Some have invoked intense love, some intense hatred, some intense anger, rage violence, some fear, some intense sexuality, some intense creativity and compassion. So you all can say that I am an intense human being. As a child I was intense and extremely sensitive and aware of my surroundings. I would catch the emotional temperature of my surroundings and feel disturbed, not understanding then why?
Today I realise that each man that came into my life was there to take me closer to myself. The whole journey till now has been about reclaiming bits of me that was scattered outside in many selves. Major part of my journey has been about reconnecting with the pure Masculine within me. That which I have seeked outside was seeking me from within. There is the owning of the pure Feminine also, but that is another story and shall write later.
The reason we feel intense attraction or repulsion (also negative attraction) is simply because that person is the canvas on which we see our highest aspirations and also our frailties.
Of course in state of unconsciousness awareness, one tends to sleep walk through these relationships. But with help and guidance if one were to wake up and bring conscious awareness to the current relationship then it is possible even though NOT EASY to own these projections.
Have you ever wondered why after some time an intense attraction starts to loosen its grip or hold on you? And suddenly you feel I no longer love this person or I don’t need this person in my life. That is the decisive moment. The beginning of control games, blame games, passing the buck game and all sorts…starts here..!
The moment where the REAL relationships begins, is when the projection is over and you are staring and looking at emptiness, a nothingness, that is both unnerving to the unconscious mind and full of potential and possibilities and creativity for the conscious self. We are all living in closeted forms and images of relationships not REAL relationships…
To be in love with the nothingness that emerges between two people, is transcending love in it’s confined and constricted images.
As long the strings are attached by projections of unclaimed, disowned, not accepted selves and shadows, the relationships cannot deepen and remains a cause of turmoil and unresolved conflicts.
The only relationship there exists is the one we have with ourselves and each one you meet on the way is only asserting this REALITY.
Unravelling and disrobing and unmasking the self from all that is inessential and hidden is the journey of the Alone to the Alone…