The young woman, who helps me with household work, and my daughter had a small squabble this morning. I was observing silently the conversation. My daughter was upset that Shoma, had kept some of her dolls on the floor. I heard my daughter say, “why did you throw the dolls on the floor, you could have kept them somewhere else?” Shoma said, “I needed to make place on the chair so I kept them on the floor.”
My daughter was visibly upset because she found her dolls lying on the floor. And Shoma was upset because she was being misunderstood. I did not say anything then. When I was on the terrace after some time with my daughter and our dog. I asked her to express what her feelings were when she saw the dolls on the floor. She said, “she was upset because Shoma had ‘thrown’ the dolls on the floor.” I asked her had she seen her doing this. My daughter said no she had not. So I asked her then why did she think she had? My daughter suddenly stopped and started reflecting. Then she said,” but she should not have ‘kept’ them on the floor.”
I had the dog leash in my hand. I asked her to watch as I threw the leash on the floor. And then I picked it up and then gently kept it on the floor. I asked her to see if she saw any difference in the two actions. She said, “yes mama, when you threw the leash it looked harshly done and when you gently kept it, it was lovingly done.” I asked her if the leash being on the floor made any difference. She said, ” no mama, the action used to keep it on the floor made all the difference.”
Then I asked her again if she had seen Shoma throw the dolls on the floor. She said no and that she had simply assumed that she had. My daughter is very intelligent and grasped the essence of what she needed to understand and then called Shoma to the terrace and apologized to her. I went away from there. She later told me that they both hugged each other and cried for the misunderstanding. My daughter was also able to tell Shoma, that she would appreciate if her dolls were not kept on the floor.